Sunday, June 22, 2014

I quitted my day work!

I quitted on the beginning of this month, actually.

So? Well, I have heard a lot of this cliched success story where people quitting their school, university, work to achieve their own dreams, and that kind of story is coming from people already succeed.

They are in many motivational article, famous biographies and when reader read it their eyes became sparkled with hope, freedom and successful life. I have read through those stories, too. Steve Jobs dropped out of college and choose to audit. Bill Gates also dropped out of Harvard...

That is not really the case for me though. I'm not dropping my work to pursue my dreams (big words!) but because I have already been set for 2 years scholarship at Japan... so I guess this is the right time to 'try' pursuing my dreams... for 3 months.

It's safe, because I have some money I saved from my 1 year worth of works at a game company to feed myself food and before my money ran out I would be already supported by the scholarship. So why not try it?

The thing is, my past self will not in any way have thought that he would be in this kind of situation. It's weird because this is the first time where I'm finally free. No homework, no presentation waiting, no waking up early for the test, no traffic jam, no more looking at the clock for appropriate time to leave the workplace.

Really, I'm free for the first time in my life. My 'life engine' stopped for the first time. It's not a great feeling by the way, it's just.. interesting.

When I plays games I have a different feeling now. Normally when I got in Counter Strike or perhaps Left 4 Dead 2 in sunday, yes it was fun but... I have to continue working on my own games somehow or else that dreaded monday will come and it's times up for me. Then, making my own games was also fun but I have to get some sleep or I won't be able to wake up for work...

Everything I wanted to do have been limited by that dreaded monday.

No, making games after day work as a 'hobby' like every mom (my mom included) would told their son will not work. After work, you got tired. Hobby is not a reward. After work you deserve some rewards and the hobby just isn't that.... It's proven by me along the course of these 1 year of work.

All of my teammates also struggled with this. My team's initial plan of doing 'bits by bits' everyday failed horribly. Nothing is getting done without huge tweak to our life schedule. To work on a game you need a big chunk of time, not fragments.

If you gonna make something worthwhile it will take time and dedication. And while many people have that, many unbelievable unseen obstacle like tiredness, time passing by with little progress or simply idling in a traffic jam will wear down those dedication power. For real. It happened to me.

Maybe I was a weakling and don't have what it takes to achieve my own games? Who knows, but, I believe quitting the work is a good solution for people like me. For people who can pursue their dreams along with their normal, unrelated works, I respect you.

Fast forward to now. It's not like I can play games as much as I want. But I can play whenever I want to. I played the same 2 hours of Counter Strike but maybe not tonight! Maybe I will play it tomorrow or the next day instead? I'm free from "must play now or no more opportunity for you!" mindset and I can finally do what is appropriate to do at the right time.

What is those things? For example, cooking is now possible for me. I learned to make simple food like fried rice and stir-fried vegetables. This will not happen in the past because I would probably want to use those time to play games to get my rewards of my day work, or continue making my own games to achieve my long sought dream. I can cook now because it's dinner time, and after that I would continue working on my own games.

And maybe sleep early (like 11 PM) and wake up fresh in the next morning? That is possible too!

From the beginning of this year I have been going to bed on 3AM for many consecutive days because I don't have anymore time to program my games. The weekends is jam packed with interesting events with my friends and I will not be stupid enough to replace it with programming a game in my own room alone. So only time I have is this vicious 3AM cycle on the work days. If I don't do this, the game would be in a complete static and no one is gonna rescue it. I have been to my workplace like a zombie but I survived somehow. It's not that bad and I can live with that, but my current life sure is better.

Now I can go to bed anytime and continue in the next day with fresh mind. I think my health and life has improved a lot compared to the beginning of this month. I talked to my mom on the phone more because in the past I would be subconsciously 'busy' and try to end the chat as fast as possible to race for the little time I had to play or to make games or to sleep? (sorry mom) When my mom invited me to a family trip I won't be so annoyed of losing my precious free days like before.

All of this gains came from just... removing that dreaded monday.

Of course none of this time juggling mess would happen if I just removed my 'making games' dream. I would continue to appreciate the weekend like most people and with energy filled, work diligently on work day... but I can't just take that out. Not anymore I would toss my unfinished games away like my previous works. I want to work for myself and not for any school, university, contest or company...

Quitting work sounds cool right? You know what's missing? It's money! No more salary! Your number on bank account is steadily decreasing! Scary, yes, and I would not be stupid enough to do this if the scholarship is not waiting for me. So I considered myself really lucky. Salute to those brave people who actually quit the work to get their dreams. I would not able to get hold of those bravery anytime soon.

And no, this Factora will no fetch me crazy money like freemium games that is all the rage nowadays. (Supercell, King has more than 500 million dollars revenue per year from their super-effective freemium games.) I don't have ability to make superb games both gameplay-wise and business-wise like they do too. They are great companies I looked up to somehow. (But the company I admired the most is Rayark Inc. ! I have many things I love about this company's creation... maybe I will write about it in an another blog post somewhere in the future.)

But I'm not blindly making games for nothing either.

I choose to make a niche, different game not because I wanted to go indie and different (I want revenue too!) but wanted to see if something will happen if I make a game that fills the blank spot. Factora is a 2 player battle game which is rarely seen today, and I hope it can be the top of it's kind. Maybe no one is making it because the game does not provide good business opportunity?

For next game maybe I would try making freemium games too, who knows? Seems pretty fun to figure out how to make people happily spending money and enjoy the gameplay at the same time. But for now, I will focus on this indie-ish game.

Also maybe this game is a failure? Before Angry Birds Rovio have more than 50 games... I have to release it to see results of my work. If it is a failure I will learn a lot from it.

The picture at the top is my 'workplace'. It's my messy desk I used to sit all the way to 3AM and now it's kind of dust-free-er than before (really!) becuase... no more dreaded monday and I have time to wipe it!

No comments:

Post a Comment